


On and Off the Record

by completelyhopeless



Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, F/M, Some Humor, Some Plot, i'm not sure it's plot but it's something, two circus birds universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Natasha bring Coulson a recording that will bring down a corrupt head of state. He doesn't want to know where it came from. (Only he already knows. Unofficially.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On and Off the Record

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: _[Any, any/any, we didn't even have to edit the recording. Much.](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/576010.html?thread=80651018)_
> 
> Another piece to try and get Clint talking to me again. I was looking over the list of ones I thought I might do someday, this one was on it, and it came together okay.
> 
> I'm still not sure I can get Queen & Hawkheart or Circus Birds updated, but this is better than nothing, I think.

* * *

“What is this?” Coulson asked with a frown, picking up the drive with his fingers like it was something offensive. Given his love of things vintage, he should probably have been a technophobe, but he wasn't. He used plenty of high tech gear.

“A recording. Of a certain minister admitting to funding terrorism, human experimentation, and just about every violation of the Geneva convention you can think of.”

Coulson looked at his agents. “I thought you both understood that this country was off-limits.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Nothing is off-limits. S.H.I.E.L.D. is everywhere.”

“No, S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors everywhere. There are still places that it is illegal for us to go,” Coulson corrected. “And I know you both know that. I told you this wasn't happening. I told you not to go after him. I know that you—”

“Coulson, this guy's stuff was used in the Red Room,” Barton said, shaking his head. “There was no way we could sit back and ignore it. You know that.”

Phil grimaced. He hadn't wanted to let the matter go, either, not with that implication. He didn't like leaving Red Room remnants behind any more than Barton or Romanoff did. “We were given specific orders. Entering that nation's borders is considered an act of war.”

Barton and Romanoff exchanged a look. “We... didn't enter the nation's borders.”

Phil looked between the two of them. As good as they were, he always knew when they were lying. This time, they weren't. This felt wrong. Incredibly wrong. “Explain. Now.”

Romanoff let out a breath. “We never entered the borders. That is true.”

“Then who did you get to—” Phil stopped himself, almost smacking his own head. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his forehead. “I am assuming this has to do with a former... associate of yours.”

“Officially, I have no idea where that came from,” Barton said, looking over at Romanoff. “Natasha doesn't know, either.”

“And unofficially?”

“I may know people who have the kind of training it would take to get in and out without an incident, even without people dying.”

Phil was going to have a migraine after this. “And this friend who knows how to get in and out without killing anyone or creating an incident wouldn't happen to have grown up in the same circus as you, would he?”

Barton's straight face was one he'd take past torture and the grave. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Of course you don't. And you don't, either, right, Romanoff?”

“Part of my deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. involved not making contact with anyone from my past unless it was for a sanctioned mission,” she reminded him. “This wasn't.”

Phil nodded, accepting that as all he was going to get from those two. “I assume there's no alteration to this recording? Nothing to worry about on that end?”

“Even if there was, you wouldn't be able to tell.”

Phil folded his arms over his chest. “And why is that?”

“Said person who does not exist also has a nonexistent significant other who is better with computers than almost anyone on the planet. If there was some kind of alteration, you'd never know it.”

Phil definitely had a headache. “Fine. Out of my office. Now.”

* * *

“You're sure this has all we need?” Clint asked, frowning as he accepted the drive, turning it over in his fingers.

“Yes,” Nightwing answered, flashing him one of his trademark grins. “We didn't even have to edit the recording.”

“Much.”

“Much?” Natasha asked, turning to the computer screen, tension in her body ready to lash out at the blank mask that Oracle used when interacting with the general public—not that the general public even knew about her. “Define 'much.'”

“Relax. Oracle is a technological genius. There's nothing for them to find.”

Clint looked at his friend. “Are you sure about that?”

“He is, Hawkeye. I can give you the unaltered version if you like to compare it to the one you have, though your ears will be burning,” Oracle said, somehow managing to make a computerized voice sound teasing. “Nightwing is a bit of a gossip.”

Dick shrugged, looking innocent despite the mask and the blue and black costume, which shouldn't even be possible, especially since Clint had practically been raised with the guy and knew better. “I was just filling you in. I know you know almost everything, but I figured you hadn't heard about these two becoming a couple officially and I thought you might like to know.”

“And because you are endlessly optimistic,” Oracle agreed. “We are _not_ double dating.”

“Barton,” Natasha began and Clint held up his hands.

“I swear I didn't tell him.”

“Please. I've known him since he was six,” Nightwing said, shaking his head. “I knew when he fell for you and I knew when you finally took pity on him. I remind him constantly that he doesn't deserve you and better not screw it up.”

Natasha shook her head, but the damned Grayson charm won out. He smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes, but Clint knew he'd been forgiven. Of course, that recording had a lot to do with it. Bringing down anything to do with the Red Room meant a lot to Tasha.

“You know what? I bet he's just saying that because what Oracle really had to edit out was all his bad attempts to flirt with her.”

“Says the guy whose lines come from a book on bad pick up lines,” Nightwing muttered, shaking his head. “And no—we are not turning that into another drinking contest.”

“Which Natasha would win anyway.”

“Exactly.”

“Boys,” Oracle cut in. “I hate to interrupt the bonding session you've got going—again—but one of you has a dictator to take down and the other one is late for Sunday dinner.”

Nightwing swore. “He's gonna kill me. Oracle, can you cover—”

“Not on your life, Former Boy Wonder. Even I don't mess with his meal plans.”

If the mask would have shown it, Dick would so have been rolling his eyes then. Oracle ended the call, letting the computer screen go dark. Natasha frowned slightly, and then Dick wrapped her up in one of his hugs, whispering something in her ear that had her nodding against his shoulder.

 _Hands off,_ Clint signed. _That's_ my _redhead._

Dick just laughed. _You know she's learning sign language, don't you? I even taught her a few of our words._

“You are such a dick,” Clint called after him as Nightwing jumped out the window, firing off his grappling hook and swinging to another building. “I have such lousy friends.”

Natasha took the drive from him. “No, you have the best.”

Clint leaned over and kissed her. “You're right. I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> What Dick tells Natasha is to "Relax. We got them. It's over." 
> 
> It just didn't fit to have Clint hear it because Dick was whispering and he probably did it in a language Clint doesn't speak but he and Natasha do because he's that kind of troll. :P


End file.
